33 Seeing Red
by Oblivion's Demon
Summary: No matter how many times she washes her hands, when she looks at them, all she sees is red.


This is number 33 in a 100 themes challenge.

* * *

Really, she _knows_ all this sake isn't good for her, but she drinks it anyway. Because the blurrier her vision gets, the more the colors of the world blend together. At least when she gets so drunk the world tilts and tips at the edges, she can pretend that the red isn't staining her fingers; that the swirl of images in front of her isn't anything in particular. That the last color she sees before she passes out isn't red.

So she drinks, and the colors blend together, her tears dyeing everything red.

A shot for Nawaki's red, rosy cheeks. When he laughed, his cheeks were a source of inspiration to those who forgot why they fought. Maybe if she instilled more caution in him, instead of her stupid, blind encouragements, he would grin for her again.

She grins back.

A shot for Dan's red, burning blood. When he was injured, his blood would fly out as a barrier between his enemies and those he loved. Maybe if she worked harder as a medic, instead of being so stupidly overconfident, he wouldn't have been bleeding.

She practices harder.

A shot for Orochimaru's red, lolling tongue. When he talked, it would sneak out and terrify those who wished to stand in his way. Maybe if she had learned to love her teammates properly, instead of hiding from anything that could cause her pain, he would stand by her again.

She forgives him.

A shot for Obito's red, new Sharingan. When he believed in something, his eyes flashed and instilled faith in even the coldest of hearts. Maybe if she had been there, instead of wasting time away from real fighting, he would teach love again.

She tries herself.

A shot for Rin's red, Inuzuka marks. When she blushed they disappeared, hiding the means of murder drawn so cruelly across her cheeks. Maybe if she ran a little faster, instead of trying not to feel, she would be the reminder that shinobi are people again.

She remembers.

A shot for Kushina's red, fiery hair. When she fought, her bloody hair was a banner of strength to those around her. Maybe if she faced her demons, instead of leaving the village like a pathetic coward, she could complain about her hair again.

She listens eagerly.

A shot for Minato's red, flaming jacket. When he ran, they were like flames that leapt and stirred the heart. Maybe if she thought about her loyalties, instead of dismissing everything that caused her pain, he would be the kindest Hokage again.

She gladly steps aside.

A shot for Hiruzen-sensei's red, regal hat. When he spoke, it was with kindness that offset the hatred that infected all shinobi's hearts. Maybe if she remembered her duty, instead of shirking responsibility for the false comfort of silver bottles, he would scold them all for being brats again.

She laughs along.

A shot for Jiraya's red, tattooed tears. When he got them, he said it was because he had no more tears left to cry. Maybe if she had loved him enough to let him cry, instead of letting him go off to a fight he was no longer capable of, he would peep again.

She lets him.

A shot for Itachi's red, all- seeing Mangekyou. When he kills, he kills for the peace she was too weak to instill. Maybe if she was strong enough to negotiate, instead of settling every matter with her fists, he would have a family and a career again.

She learns to speak.

A shot for Shizune's red, smiling lips. When she fights, her smiles spew poison and her laughter kills everything around her. Maybe if she was more aggressive in her training, instead of bored and uncaring, those smiles would save lives, not take them.

She pushes harder.

A shot for Asuma's red, burning cigarette. When he smokes, it's because he knows cancer will never be able to get catch him before his job. Maybe if she was nurturing enough, instead of brisk and business-like, he would love himself like his lover does.

She enforces love in the Academy.

A shot for Kurenai's red, ruby eyes. When she lies, it is with all the grace of a genjutsu master, one who weaves other's realities just as easily. Maybe if she was approachable, instead of harsh and commanding, she wouldn't have to pretend losing the thing that makes life okay didn't hurt.

She takes the time.

A shot for Kakashi's red, shameful Sharingan. When he truly fights, it is the reminder of what he has lost, and what he fights to protect. Maybe if she were gentler, instead of the furious mass of drunken aggression she is today, he wouldn't be dead in all but name.

She softens her blows.

A shot for Gaara's red, lovely tattoo. When he speaks, his words touch shinobi's hearts like her never could. Maybe if she was brave enough to meddle in other countries' affair, instead of hiding behind her village boarders like a coward, he would know love as it truly was.

A shot for Sakura's red, conservative dress. When she smashes her fists, craters grow in the ground as a testament to her tremendous strength. Maybe if she was strong enough to teach healing, instead of weak enough to create brute strength, she would be innocent again.

She teaches love.

A shot for Sasuke's red, hate-stained gaze. When he loves, his love destroys the mountains and fills the seas with blood. Maybe if she was clever enough to control her village, instead of letting the elders walk all over her, his love would grow again.

She talks back.

A shot for Naruto's red, Kyuubi eyes. When he breaks, the monster that has tortured him his whole life comes out. Maybe if she was smart enough she would hate him like all the others, instead of foolishly letting her heart get broken again, he would not hold such power over her.

She is a fool.

Names fly through her mind, images that should not exist; Hinata with red slap marks across her cheeks; Neji with a red brand of hate scrawled permanently on his forehead; Ino with bright red lipstick as she gets ready for her first seduction mission. So many more and they are all so real. She drinks to each of them, trying to pretend that only the alcohol puts these images before her eyes. Trying to pretend she doesn't hear Choji teased and Shikamaru weep; that Lee doesn't push himself to the point of never working again, that Tenten isn't the unknown orphan others ignore. That she trusts Sai.

Bottoms up, we're not done yet. Kiba, Shino, Gai, Genma. So many names, all dependent on her; she can't let them down. She certainly can't forget them.

How many shots? She's lost count. It doesn't matter anyway. She hasn't taken enough; hasn't remembered everyone yet. She'll die of alcohol poisoning before she can honor all those who deserve it. And who knows, it could even be worth it. She could die; the filthy redness that infests her body finally choking her from the inside out. The red outside will get her soon enough anyway. She remembers one last thing before she passes out; she remembers why she is who she is. She is Senju Tsunade, Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, home of the Will of Fire. And she knows why.

Fire is red.


End file.
